While I was on vacation, I got Starhawk's The Pagan Book of Living and Dying out of the library and took it with me. The book's been around for a bit, and she's a well known author, so I may be a Jonobie-come-lately to reading it, but I thought I'd post a short review and a few thoughts on the chance someone might be interested.
I read the book once, at the beginning of the vacation, before my husband's grandmother got ill and went into the hospital. I read it again afterwards. I came home and ordered the book from Amazon. In short, the book is an interesting read, useful, and enlightening.
While the book is clearly written by those in the Reclaiming tradition, there is a clear acceptance that other Neopagans may need to adjust the liturgies. But one of the sentiments in the book struck me keenly: that people who are dying, and those who are close to them, have little energy to create their own liturgies for death. This book fills that void. It gives rituals for dealing with death (both as the dying person, and as someone close), for funerals, and for remembering one of your Beloved Dead. Even though no one close to me has died yet, I want the book for when someone does. I won't use everything in there, and I'll add my own personal bits, but I know that I'll use it.
The book also has a section about planning for your own death. I realized for the first time, that while I've always said that I didn't really care what happened after I died, I actually do care. For example, it occurred to me while reading the book, that it was important for me to be cremated. As a follower of Brighid, it seems most proper that my body be disposed in a manner appropriate for a worshipper of Her (which I would interpret as a cremation or water burial). I realized that I would be saddened if my funeral were strictly a Christian service -- I don't mind if it's included for the sake of those still living, but I want a recognition of my religion, and the way I view death included. I realized that were I to die suddenly, I would want someone to inform my flame sisters within Ord Brighideach that I would no longer be able to tend the flame during my shift. I'm planning on drawing up a living will, power of health attorney, will, and burial, funeral and other instructions by this coming Samhain.