First Questions, Revisited

What follows is one of my first posts to the newsgroups alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. As an exercise, I wrote answers for them from slightly farther down my path. The original text is in emphasis text, and my answers are in plain text.

Interestingly, my theology settled down a bit more after a great deal of questioning on the "many vs.. one" question. In some sense, I realized it didn't matter much; if I interact with Gods as individuals, and it works, then I'll continue to do that until I find out otherwise.

I first settled on a "soft" polytheism, more properly called pluriform monotheism, which allows for individual gods within a pantheistic worldview. Although I was originally drawn to the dualistic worldview, it didn't seem to fit as time went on, and in time, I've become a hard polytheist. It's likely that an acceptance of more than one deity was what was originally appealing, with the particular implications of that working themselves out later.

I still find a number of these questions challenging. I think one of my original misconceptions about religion was that once I'd converted to a religion, I'd settle some of these large questions. And while it's true that conversion provided some tools to search more deeply, it by no means made these questions irrelevant.

Answers to these two question vary by what sort of mood I'm in when I'm asked. Some days, I'll say that my Gods are symbols for the great unknown or great mystery, and that while "worship" is perhaps an odd word to use, worshipping gods is a link to the rest of humanity. That is, as I interact with my Gods, however I think of them, it connects me to the rest of humanity, which also is interacting with their Gods. They are a link with the rest of the world. On these days, "God language" is a way to talk about where people fit into life, how life should be lived, and the truly important things in the world. It's intensely metaphorical, sometimes confusing, and often hard -- precisely because these questions are so difficult to talk about.

Other days, I might say that Gods are archetypes. That is, Brighid is an appropriate patron for me, because I aspire to be a great artist, writer, and creator. Home life is important to me, as is artistry, motherhood, and healing. As such, she is a model of what I aspire to be, in the same way, say, Michael Jordan might be a model of what a young basketball player would aspire to. She isn't worshipped, although it's important to keep her in mind as an ideal. On these days, I tend to think of the purpose of my religion as getting in touch with the wise portions of myself.

And some other days, I would say that Gods are living, breathing entities. These days, I would answer that Gods are worthy of worship as our ancestors, friends and mentors. That is, they have an active role in my life as beings that are wiser and older than myself. And, since I think of Gods as teachers and mentors (instead of all-powerful, all-knowing beings) I believe that They deserve my thanks and praise.

On days when I really have it together, I respond that all these things are true. In general, though, my conception of Gods does not fit into either the transcendentalist's view of God, nor the typically Christian view of God. As such, it's difficult to answer some of these questions. Certainly, not all Gods are benign -- a brief look at descriptions of The Morrigan will quickly dispel that notion. Loving? I've no idea; the Gods I've interacted with have been, at a minimum, friendly towards me. I don't claim to know whether all Gods are like that.

Gods interact with those whom they have called. Practically, I believe that this "calling" manifests as an internal desire to search for spiritual fulfillment. Not everyone will be called, nor does everyone need to have a relationship with the Gods. As an analogy, much as a good relationship with one's Representative to Congress may have important advantages, not knowing one's Representative will not render one incapable of having a productive and enjoyable life in the United States. Similarly, people who seek to have relationships with their Gods may gain things they otherwise wouldn't have, but those who feel no particular interest in such a relationship are in no way denied a fulfilling and equally worthwhile life.

Someone once responded to this with another question, "Why do things happen at all," noting that equally valid questions are, "Why do good things happen to good people," or "Why do good things happen to bad people." I think these questions best illustrate my view of this question today. Awful things happen because that's the way the world works; things happen to people, and often a person's "goodness" has nothing to do with it. In general, I don't believe that the Gods sit around devising cosmic tests for us. Much like parents who watch a child at college from afar, I believe that the Gods are available with advice and support, but rarely touch our day-to-day living in worldly, material ways.

When I started, I went with things that "felt right and made sense" and kept those until I found a system that seemed to match the collection of things I believed. For me, this system was Modern Druidry, or Celtic Paganism.

Once I found a system that seemed to be a reasonable match, new ideas and practices are compared against a three-pronged standard: Is it historical? Does it work for modern times? Does it match my personal experience and belief? Typically, things that get answers of "yes" for at least two of those questions are temporarily added, with them being discarded again later if, after a reasonable period of time, I still cannot answer the "personal belief" question with the affirmative.

Because of these additions to my original system, I have since begun to call myself an American or Brighidean Pagan, to indicate that my cycle of holy days falls on American cultural holidays, rather than traditionally Celtic holidays (although I also celebrate the four fire festivals), or to indicate that Brighid is my patron Goddess. Although I take much of what we know about how the ancient Celts worshipped as a starting place for my beliefs, I have added too much to realistically claim the either the moniker of "Druid" or "Celtic".

People who don't search for truth in their life end up doing other things. In general, there's not really a "wrong path" with regards to religion. There are certainly unhealthy paths through life, but those are more properly left to the realms of psychology and medicine than religion.

These days, I'd recommend my religious library to beginners, as well as the collection of links listed on my main page. While there is good information on the web, in general it takes more time to sort through the misinformation than it's worth. Critically reading anything I could get my hands on online seemed to work for me; I'll leave others to do the same. These days, some of the links above are broken (often the better ones), and the ones that originally seemed interesting to me now seem less so, as they are primarily focused on Wicca. In general, web sites are apt to have historically inaccurate or wrong information, and finding the same piece of information in more than one place in no way makes it more likely to be true. More often, web pages lift "facts" from one another without bothering to reference their information.